a wedding i did not dream of

almost all of the girls i know have a dream wedding. dress, venue, theme, guests, song they want while they walk down the aisle, first dance, etc... not me. not every thing. 

there was only one thing i want - a short engagement. it turned out that i got engage exactly two years  early before i got married. what i wanted did not happen but God is an amazingly amazing planner.

"everything works out together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose"

this has become true for ranley & i.

my wedding turned out to be much better than i could have ever planned. 

pinterest is awesome. and so are friends & family. 

so here's some photos before the ceremony:

  

for the record i would like to say that ranley & i are not cut out to a life of modeling. i mean, i look at magazines and this super glossy pictures of people who look really put together - hair in place, clothes just right, perfect little smile or pout - and i say to myself, i want to look like that. i have an idea it must be a hard, i did not know it was really hard. 

but we had so much fun & bloopers shooting this photos. i think james & his team made a very good coach and they were very patient. ranley & i are both not all that comfortable having our photos taken while there are audience (some of our guests arrived early) and we don't know how to pose! 

for a couple of inept and amateur poser we did pretty good, eh? 

these photos are amazing to me because in them we did not have our eye close, we're not picking our nose, etc 

ceremony/reception venue: garden & pool area, rancho cancio

video: Onins

hmua: bien ybanez hair & make-up

coordination & planning: ivy faith miranda 

styling: ivy faith mirand & jen tejas

flowers: pearl flowers

caterer: chai catering

music: mcof band

singer: kim mendiola

lights: alvin pepito

photography: air balloon project & che somber

are you what you're thinking?

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. 

Philippians 4:8

tonight's devotional did not make me feel good - at all. i want a verse that speaks to me about having faith, or that God would provide and that God just wants me to wait etc. 

but then i read this verses tonight and it hits me. because i could use this. this is what i need. i have to be positive in my thoughts. i have to screen my thoughts no matter how tempting to do otherwise. i heard and read somewhere that "you are what you think". and if that is the case i don't want to be what i am thinking a lot of times.

those does not glorify God. i want to be positive, to be an encourage r, to be confident. not because i can do it but because i have God by my side. 

A reminder to myself today:

* i don't need new things to make me happy. sure i get excited when i get new stuff. but right at this moment in my life i want more to be a blessing. to be a change. to help effect change. i might be talking-non-sense to others because i admit it who, would not be happy with a new shoes? or a classic looking bag? a shiny new gadget? but i have to check myself. stuffs are not what are making me they are tools to reach my goal - to be a catalyst of change not a material hoarder. if i feel empty or lacking i don't want to go around rushing to "shop" because "to every girls problem, shopping is the cure".

this is not a recent discovery i have felt this way even before. whenever i get lots of material blessings, or financial abundance i feel a little displaced. i start thinking that i feel guilty which is not healthy at all because I am 100 percent sure that every good and perfect gifts comes from above, i feel like maybe there is more to what i recieved than meets the eye when i get a blessing financial, material or otherwise.

i know i have a long way in learning and growing in many areas in my life. but i really do want that i will be able to communicate my purpose. i am here because God wants me to be here. I am doing what God wants me to do. he wants me to do it competently. humbly. passionately. and that if i do it that way i will be able to reflect his glory. 

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journal Feb 21, 2014