Patience Is a Virtue

I thought i was a very patient person. I'm quiet proud of it. I have checked it off from the 12 fruits of the Holy Spirit and can hold my head up and say, "I only have 11 more fruits to work on in my life".


I am so so wrong :(. Waiting is likely to drain you out. Sucking all the of your energy.


But - - -  all is not lost. "Patience is a Virtue" would not have been so popular without its merits to those who mastered it.

Rainy Days and Mondays

My mother loves The Carpenters. She used to sing to me, in a very neutral voice, songs like Top of the World, You, Rainy days on Mondays, etc. Maybe this is the reason why I have grown to love old classic and country songs.

Today is Monday. Today is raining. I love Karen Carpenters and her song, I even agree with some of her philosophy and mentality, but I just love rainy days and i love Mondays... I love the rainy seasons - the cool weather, the sober mood, the raindrops, the clean air after every rain, the smell of dust when the rain hits it the first time - its like a rejuvenation (a little bit over rated i know). I also love Mondays! the rest of the world starts their week working but I start it resting :D - every Monday i can sleep in (no alarms!), i can eat breakfast (i know that for a Filipino eating cereal in milk isn't entirely one), i can watch movies after movies, i can read or just enter my imaginary world. 

BUT, this Monday, this Rainy Monday, im not doing any of that. I'm braving the rain and mud (i am wearing slippers..ugh) to get to work. I have been working and working. It really feels good to reach your goal or catch up with the deadlines.... though i am wishing i could snuggle up with a cup of cafe mocha in my hands and watching Grey's Anatomy or something. 

I do have a minor problem, a temporary set back. I dont want to accept it but i was (alright, Am) very irritated and annoyed when some of the files that we need to submit to the main office cannot be found. We did everything to find it.. almost turned the whole blasted building up and down but still couldnt find it. We did have to send 98% of the rest so we won't be getting a zero score but still it's very frustrating. I was already threatening the whole staff that i would not allow them to have their salaries if that file were not found. Gosh, i tell you, i really have very un healthy thoughts. I wanted to be angry at someone though i know it is not sane. I am sure that if my team knows where it is they would be very happy to provide it. I am just now comforting myself that maybe i have to learn lessons in patience and extreme organization and coordination the next time.

Thank God for today! Even if it isn't a totally perfect day i still have my moments... my Boss said something nice... anything nice from him kind of give me a semblance of peace.. like everything is going to be alright... that is something.... definitely a BIG thing :D

not a bucket list

(x) Balut
(x) Kwek-kwek

(x) Kambing (goat)

(x) Aso (dog)

(x) Bayawak (giant lizard) (wayback) :-0

(x) Wild boar or wild deer

(x) Durian (candies)

(x) Palaka (frog)

(x) Adidas (chicken feet)

(x) isaw (intestine) (wayback)

( ) Soup #5 (bull's reproductive organ) ...m greatest desire...lol

Rode the following...

(X) Tricycle

(x) Karitela / Kalesa

(x) Trolley/push cart along the riles (railroad)

(x) Banka (boat)
( ) MRT / LR/Subway

(x) Jeepney
(x) Airplane
( ) Helicopter

(x) Bus where you had to stand at the estribo (doorway)

(x) Top load on a jeepney (during intership in Ozamis..definitely fun!)
(x) Fire Truck (during wild HS days)

( ) Top load on a PNR train

( ) Rode in a Love Bus
(x) Rode a motorbike and crashed it!

Been to...

( ) The Rice Terraces or Sagada

( ) Star City

( ) Enchanted Kingdom

( ) Shooting the Rapids in Cagayan(Pagsanjan or elsewhere)

(x) See the Tarsier (small wide-eyed primate)

(x) See Magellan's cross

( ) See the Black Nazarene in Quiapo

( ) Manila Zoo

(x) Crocodile farm (Palawan)

( ) Seen the Philippine Eagle in Davao
(x) Tinago Falls
(x) gone caving
(x) Siquijor

Tried the following...

(X) Played Patintero

(X) Played Tumbang Preso

(x) Played Piko (wuts piko)

(x) Played Sungka

(x) Played with Spiders

(X) Played Chinese Garter

(X) Played Chinese Jackstones

( ) Climbed a coconut tree

(x) Caught fish in the canal during a rainy day (toadpoles too)

( ) Had a salagubang (beetle) for a pet

Culturally oriented activities...

(x) Danced the Tinikling or any other native dance

( ) Attended Simbang Gabi ( Midnight Mass )

( ) Participated in Ati-Atihan

(x) Attended/participated in any religious procession (school activity)

( ) Rode a kalabaw (carabao) or baka (cow)

( ) Used gugo for shampoo

(x) Tumulay sa kawayan (walked on a bamboo pole bridge)

( ) Kept Vigil at the Cemetery for Nov.1

( ) Visited 9 (or more) churches during holy week

(x) Greeted your grandparents or elders by kissing their hand or having them touch your forehead ( I do this )

Provincial living...

(x) Eaten fish head... 

(x) Drank Lambanog (coconut wine) or Tuba (rice wine) or Basi (Sugarcane wine)

(x) Drank Batangas barako coffee or Cordillera coffee

(x) Told manananggal, aswang, capre stories during a brownout or rainy night

(x) Slept under a mosquito net or on a banig

(x) Eaten champorado with tuyo (w/o tuyo)

(x) Eaten pandesal filled with condensed milk

(x) Dunked pandesal into hot coffee

( ) Ate fried rice with coffee as your soup

(X) Took a bath under a "poso" or by the "ilog" river)

Young life...

(X) Gone to the beach in summer

( ) Rode horses in Baguio

(X) Eaten otap, piyaya, or buko pie

(x) Polished the floor with coconut husk

( ) Seen Taal Volcano

(x) Called anyone "pare/mare", "tol", or "bos/bossing"

(x) Took a bath in the rain

( ) Got a tattoo (a real one)

( ) Attended an exclusive boys/girls school

(x) Cut class (all the time during senior year)

Metro living...

( ) Got stuck in the EDSA parking lot

(x) Walked in a flood (eewwww)

(x) Lifted furniture up away from the flood water

(X) Eaten Dirty Ice Cream

(X) Eaten fish balls / squid balls sa kalye (not anymore)

( ) Attended an inuman (drinking session) in the neighborhood

(x) Lived in a boarding house

(x) Gone to the casino

( ) Gone inside Malacanang Palace

(x) Gone shopping at 168 / Divisoria

Historic Events / Places...

( ) participated in EDSA 1 / 2 / 3

( ) Marched in Mendiola

( ) Attended a Makati rally

( ) Visited the Ayala Museum

( ) Visited Corregidor

( ) Visited Bataan shrine

( ) Visited Biak na Bato

( ) Visited Rizal's house in Calamba, Laguna

(x) Visited Lapu Lapu's shrine in Mactan Island

( ) Visited Ferdinand Marcos' resting place
(x) Jose Rizal's Exiled Town, Dapitan

Others...

(x) Got stuck in your office / car / elsewhere during a storm

( ) Experienced a strong earthquake while on a floor 10 stories or higher

( ) Watched the Thrilla in Manila

( ) Get stuck in NAIA because of a VIP coming in or leaving

Sports events...

(x ) Watched horse races at the karerahan

( ) Monitored the Tour of Luzon / of the Philippines

(x) Watched a PBA game live

(x) Watched a Pacquaio fight (TV)

(x) Bet in a cock fight

Looking at this very chocolate colored water in front of the our church office's building makes me feel different and there's this urge for me to do something - make something and so my brilliant mind (at the moment) conjured up an image of little Nat-Nat playing paper boat at a water drainage very near the old house in Hinigaran.. haha... just kidding... but seriously here's how serious looking our church's office look like:

This rounded pavement allow us to play skip and jump for 6 days if its raining :D

View right in front of the church's office - it looks as if we need a canoe right there

Terrified

Wishful Longings

Lounging around and sipping tea - yep, tea. As in TEA. The drinks of the civilized people... according to ancient writings - they also said coffee is a heathen brew. Well, well.... im sure they are just prejudiced :D

Anyway, i was surfing the net and found this very nice looking Converse shoes - i know, i know, they're Chuck Taylors.... but whatever... here she goes :

Longing #1

See????!!! it has even the theme of my blog... i think this is meant to be...
Wait, my BFF thinks that this looks like a thing for people with age below 20.... i don't care very much so...

and one other thing that caught my eye is this one :

Longing #2

My deep and very reverent prayer is that i will have a house with a corner like this one... i could just picture myself sitting there with a good book and hot coffee (yep the heathen brew) and spending a long time lounging out.

That there ends my wishful longings of the moment :D

I love :D

Rainy Days

Misty Windows

Lonely Walks

David’s Psalms

Country Music

Bubbling Babies

Pistachio Ice creams

Window Seats

Moist Sand

Ice Tea

Hot Coffee

Tom and; Jerry

Freshly washed laundry

Dusks and dawns

Rubber shoes and Tees

Cool Weathers

White sheets

Comfy socks

Max Lucado

Happy endings

Chili Sauces

Quiet moments

Country sides

Sweet Corns

and him :D

To let Go Takes Love

To "let go" does no mean to stop caring, it means that I can't do it for someone else.

To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it is the realizatin tht I can't control another.

To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To "let go" is to admit powerlessness. which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.

To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.

To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own destinies.

To "let go" is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.

To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what i dream i can be

To "let go" is not to regret the pas, but to grow and live for the future.

To "let go" is to fear less and love more.

Juliet's Letter

Dear Claire,

What and if are two words that are non threatening as words can be, but put them together side by side and they have the power to hold you for the rest of your life.

What if… what if … what if….

What if … I don’t know how your story ended but if what you feel then was true love then its never too late. If it was true then why wouldn’t it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart… I don’t know what love like Juliet feels like- a love to leave love ones for,  a love to cross oceans for but I d like to believe if I ever were to feel it that id have the courage to seize it.

And Claire if u didn’t I hope one day that u will…

Am I Stinking?

God is never late. He is never in a hurry. We are the one who is always in hurry because we do not know the ending of each of our story. Remember the story of Lazarus in John 11? Jesus already knew that his friend Lazarus was sick and was dying but he told his disciple that he will come to his friend in two days. He could have come earlier, he love Lazarus like a brother so why did he have to wait TWO PRECIOUS DAYS?  Lazarus was dead already when He came, he was embalmed and was covered in mummy clothes and most of all he was STINKING already! why did he have to wait? So that He could have the most glory, ofcourse!

If Lazarus was just sick - okay, thanks Jesus
If he was dying - Praise Jesus you came to heal him
But he was dead two stinking days - Jesus reap all the glory and all who saw what he did had faith in Him

God's timing is always perfect! His time is not like ours. Our 2 years of asking from Him must feel like its never going to happen anymore but GOD has never been late in meeting our needs.

Most of the time when we want something from God we start out in our prayers in a very passionate way.We claim all of his promises and our hearts are bursting with trust and faith. After a while, our prayers goes seemingly unanswered and we are starting to lose the intensity of our prayers.... then suddenly things seem to lighten up and it looks like our plea is being answered... everything is going our way and its almost there - then, BLAM! then something happened and it is exactly the opposite of what we've been praying for! and we think LIFE STINKS!

If that's the case, well, remember that Lazarus STUNK just before the miracle! If we think we are stinking now... we are ready for a miracle :D
There's nothing we can do to make the miracle come faster- nothing. We must pray, we must believe - but we don't push down the door if it's still lock.
Vision and purpose will fuel us to go on - if God gives us the miracle, he gives us the strength to contain it.

I don't know about you but i think at the moment Im really stinking :D

dressed chicken

I remember one time i was walking downtown with my 8 year old cousin and he saw this sign that says "Dressed Chicken for Sale".
He then asked me, "Ate Nat, what kind of dresses do the chicken wears?" and i really laugh out loud with that one. So i had to explain that dressed chickens are really chickens that are already cleaned and ready to cook; that their feathers and stuff were already taken out to make them ready for whatever people wants to do with them in the kitchen. And he was like, "really? why is it called dressed chicken then?"
 and I was like, Yeah, why? i mean if we follow the meaning of the word "dressed" it really means that somebody has put on the kind of clothes that is required for a certain occasion.... why not say "Undressed Chicken for Sale" or say "Un-plucked Chickens for Sale"... now that is more practical and understandable.  

~ A Foggy Blog ~

To write

to ponder

to wonder where I’ll be

when opportunities arise

to set my spirit free

Will you be there

to touch me

and share the emotions of my soul

will you be there

to kiss me

and be the man i adore?

will you be there

in the morning

when sunlight kisses flowers

will you be there

to embrace our love

and give meaning to our hours

My love is bubbling over

it’s more than I can bear

restraining it inside of me

is causing me despair

I want to share it freely

I want to give it all away

all the themes

in all my dreams

are focused on that day

This is what I’m thinking

as I sit here at my blog

letting thoughts escape me

like a ghostly misty fog

writing down whatever

letting feelings have their way

blogging in my cyberspace

on a cool rainy day

distance

"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold.
It's for those who are
willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with
the one they love.
It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't
... see it nearly enough..."

... this has a lot to do with this

toadpoles

toad poles reminds me so much of childhood.... it came to me because its rainy season... and when we went visiting somewhere i saw a gutter sooo full of them... and the wide eyed mother (maybe, they look a like..umm) with its adams apple (what else would u call the pulse that keeps bloating in and out its throat?) and pimply skin look on....

i use to love catching them up in our kangkongan.. i get really really giggly doing that... like i was made to do that (u know catch toadpoles all my life).. thank /God i grew up.. i realize u don't catch them ... u wait for them to grow up and catch them - for exotic viand purposes... ugghhhh.. gross.. but i've tried eating them .. at least the kind of them that is edible... tasted good too.. just don't know if it will taste the same now - now that i think myself --- well, ummm ... civilized.

Heart's Cry

	Steven Curtis Chapman - Heart's Cry .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

tired and suffocating

i was just done with my message.. i have done it twice today.. i wonder why it kinda suck the life out from me... i felt so weak and tired.. my lids are so heavy and i could not fight the feeling .. i just want to close them.

i feel exhilarated every time i am doing this. I know this is one of the things that im supposed to be doing but no matter what i still have to come to terms with myself. i need to push myself away...she's the only one standing in the way of all the things that God needs to do in her life. no one else.

i know i am less commitment more in interest... that has to change... like i said i may still be a legend but .... i need to refocus and re align my life... i have to let Him do it... or else... all and i do mean all.... will be lost... and that would messed up all things and i would lose everything that i live for... my very essence and purpose... then i will be hanging in the air like everybody...

longing

trust has to be earned. it is one of the basic practical reality when it comes to dealing with people and building relationships. You only start to trust someone if that someone has proven to you that they are worth it. When they have been there in the times that you needed them the most or they have done something to you and for you. That's when the merit of trust is given, sometimes subconsciously, to the person. They deserve it because they have shown themselves worthy of it, they have "worked" to gain that position in your life or your heart.

so, how do i justify trusting someone who has done nothing at all to gain my trust. Who did not at all work for it...? Who leaves everything to God or maybe it was really fate? Its very frustrating.... creates almost a big big hole at the pit of my tummy and huge lump in my chest... the fact that maybe I'm just expecting and anticipating too much....

Could i call that trust? or just plain old fashion longing ... the plain deep and gut wrenching kind.... to be with him.

This is the reason for all the unexplained tears, sober mood and wishful thinking....

I'm Going Bananas

i think im going bananas...that's how you express it when you think your life is no going through the path that you liked or even planned. In other words your getting crazy...insane

But this banana here doesn't describe me at the moment (but i do have some going-bananas-thing). I was visiting some of our kids in one of our areas when i spotted this thing on the just hanging there and i just cant resist snappin' at it even though my phone's camera is just 2 mega pixels, i mean this is a high tech world were living in and some already got phone cams that reach to 10 mega pixels so its embarrassing to open my phone in public eye.... lol... but really i dont care... my phone can text and call and i can listen to 13 mp3 songs... who cares if its obsolete? i dont for sure.

going back to bananas, this pic made me walk down childhood memory lane... we used to have lots of them in our backyard and my grandfather would harvest it and we would all come running and pick the smallest fruit, hide it... cover it in plastic bags and salivate for a few days in anticipation for it. Its not that i really love bananas but there is a thing that i cannot describe that i feel every time i opened my carefully-wrapped portion and find it ripe and ready to eat. It is almost like a sense of success.... my anticipation has been rewarded and it felt soooooooo good...
Actually i think i am just imagining things with this anticipation vs surprise thing.... we will see what comes with it.....

but between me and me? i hope that its like my wrapped bananas.. i'd find it ripe and ready for the taking....

the beginning of ....

this here is the beginning of my life's unpredictable, and confusing existence.. oh in just some sense

I WOULD HAVE LOVED YOU ANYWAY (Trisha Yearwood)

If I'd've known the way that this would end
If I'd've read the last page first
If I'd've had the strength to walk away
If I'd've known how this would hurt

(Chorus:)
I would've loved you anyway
I'd do it all the same
Not a second I would change
Not a touch that I would trade
Had I known my heart would break
I'd've loved you anyway

It's bittersweet to look back now
At memories withered on the vine
Just to hold you close to me
For a moment in time


(Bridge:)
And, even if I'd seen it coming
You'd still've seen me running
Straight into your arms