this is the first time i will ever join a challenge in blogs. i don't really know what'll the outcome be. but when i saw all the pretty links in projectalicia's page it kind of draw me in :-)
it is good to be back sharing personal stuff online again. i am a private person. every one of my friends would say that when it comes to things that are
personal to me like relationships and problems, i rarely rarely share it. and
when i do i just generalized things.
but I would like to officially share something on this blog
that is intensely personal and private.
and because of that I am disturbingly happy. giddy-happy. smiling-silly-at-nothing-happy. the kind of happy that makes me wanna carve our
initials on a bark of a tree. Lol.
trail to badian falls
i would like to take credit for making this man love me but
I really can’t. in our relationship, unconventional it maybe, I can truly say
that it is only by the grace of God that we have survived this long.
i just wished i could have given him the gift of time (more of it) – to have more unhurried
conversations (sorry about this Boss, truly am).
tarsier botanika restauralnt, panglao island, bohol (my sister's wedding reception)
thank you Boss. for everything that you are. "it is feels like springtime in winter, it feels like christmas in june... every time i close my eyes i thank the Lord that i have you and you have me too".
swimming with the sharks!
:-)
"the heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands".
our God is so truly amazing in everything. he truly cares, even in the little things in our lives. and he does "order the steps of a righteous man".
wishing i am more desperate than i am now after reading this:
"Desperate is a strong word. That's why I like it. People who are desperate are rude, frantic and reckless. Desperate people are explosive, focused, and uncompromising in their desire to get what they want. Someone who is desperate will crash through the veil of niceness. The New Testament is filled with desperate people--people who barged into private dinners, screamed at Jesus until they had his attention, or destroyed the roof of someone's house to get to him. People who are desperate for spirituality very seldom worry about the mess they make on their way to be with Jesus."
(Taken from Messy Spirituality by Michael Yaconelli).
it's been awhile since my last visit. i am just dropping by with this old song that my cousin's and me loved so much 12 or so years ago. keeping this on replay for 4 days now :-)
In a world of broken hearts, love is just a word Used so often, what it means is blurred People grow so hungry for a love they can believe Will they find it here in you and me? Oh, you know you must be careful If it's love you're promising You can never, never, ever speak it lightly It should cost you everything
.....................................
Love has come from God and in this love we share People see an image of Him there It can be an invitation that leads to deeper truth The kind of love they find in me and you Oh, but we can be a witness Right before their eyes A living love that's rooted in The very love of Christ
I don't know what this world may think of love Oh, but let our hearts remain true To the notion that love goes beyond just emotion Into faith, into hope, into trust
found this interesting wall thingy from my favorite bakery, bread talk (i don't know if its painted/drawn or if its a sticker), and it made my night. this is not objective of course but it nice to be reminded that you are an amazing person and that no matter what circumstances were in, there is something beautiful in all of us.
creating moments that we could remember in the future is the best. bonding time a midst the busyness of our individual lives something that we look forward to. ruby and i had six days of free time last week and we went to panglao to spend it with sister and her husband. they are on final two weeks of construction in their hotel/resort and we want to help out any way we can. and that any-way-we-can turned out to be mopping, dusting, crawling on all fours on the floor, heavy-lifting of furnitures,wiping, sweeping...blah, blah, blah
(confession: i am making this way harder than it was! hehe)
in reality though we did some help but we had a good night and morning out. carsten and his brother treat us to a delicious dinner and drinks after.
mango shake @ 11:30pm
moon peeking though the leaves while we're sitting on the beach
moon later at 1 am
then on the third day we head out to dumaluan beach and strategically planned to just sneak into bohol beach club without actually paying the 500php entrance fee *wink*. we planned to wake up @ 5 in the morning (take note of the word planned please), we woke up 6: 45 am and arrive at around 7 something. great. the sun is finally up and it already hurts the skin when you stay for 5 minutes (it is a wonder to me how white skinned people can stay out in the sun and baked)
ruby
les and ruby
what else was left for us to do was walked a little bit and settled in having breakfast.
fried rice and egg and veggies
best gambas i've had in three years! yes. it can only be found here.
old wooden tables
it was low tide... and the beach was calm and quiet with only a few vacationers and not one tourist (foreigners)
this guy right here was a little nuts.while sister were fixing themselves and changing into swimming attire... he kept looking at us and grinning with his missing teeth. funny but sister did not think so. haha.
too often we are fooled with surface appearances. we thought that if a person looks good and acts well-behaved in church he or she is a true picture of holiness and exemplar christian living.
a deeper problem is usually not visible with the naked eyes. we may have observed that we are too often very adept in hiding what is the true condition of our heart. we masked it, we hide it well because we don't want others to know that we are weak and we need help. i think this is also because we sometimes see our that problems are the same with what others are undergoing and they seem to be well-equipped and strong enough to overcome it with the sheer power of their will. we are embarrassed to admit that when we face the same problem we do not have the strength (enough) to go through it on our own. so we hide it... we cover it in our laughter, we cover it in more work/ministry, we slap others on the back, we entertain, we encourage but deep inside us we are crumbling; we long for release, we want to cry out, we clamor for help and too often we are too hurting to heal on our own.
we fail to realize that the problem usually runs deeper. when we see people with bad temper or insulting attitude we think, "that man needs to keep his cool', but unless that man realize that his reall problem is his heart , the motives, the desires, the longing, he could not really "keep his cool".
too often we get busy with life. we get preoccupied with something else that we are not observant that we have let the ability of our heart to function like it's supposed to, to long and want and desire for the things that is of God.
my heart is wrung-out, tired, achy, numb, and stony. i look forward to God's promise in this verse:
Ezekeil 36: 26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
finally! i have proof that i work with kids! i know i have already mentioned that i work in one of Compassion International's field project here, here and here. and i did mention that it is a fulfilling job. but i think im re-evaluating that statement....
i left my purse on the top of my desk to talk to some parents and settle some things outside. when i got back somebody pointed out that i have a new artwork scribbled on my purse. this is a hand-me-down but i love this :-(. Oh well, i think i will need a new one now.
re-evaluation done: this is still a fulfilling job! and the artwork isn't all that bad, right? now i have a conversation starter! :-)
and to answer the un-asked question: no, i still don't know the artist who did this but i have my suspects. one 15 months old and one 3 years old :-)
i had given way too much time to something in my life that i have unintentionally given my God the left-over. in my head I was thinking,
“God will understand, He gave this to me. surely he will not begrudge if i take
care of something that was clearly a blessing to me”.
i remember that i was scared of anything at all that would
“steal” my attention and devotion to Him and my ministry. i was careful, too
careful to the point of inaction, that i would displease him by prioritizing
other things in my life. i tried to balanced my time, my priorities, my wants,
my desires, my ministry and everything else but I always thought that God was
the center of my life.
lately that has not been the case. it is different now. my priorities
have shifted and i know I have been aware of it but was too caught up with the
niceness of everything to really mind.
then God in all his gentleness sliced up through my foggy
little brain in a way that only He could. i could not resist him. He does not
just want me to balance things out; with all the things that i want on this
side and Him on the other side. He wants to be above all things in my life. He
wants to be my life, the source of everything good and perfect.
It is undeniably true that when we behold God as he is, we
will see our real nature. Our selfishness. Our stubbornness. Our pride.
i was mortified. i am selfish. i am stubborn. i am proud.
And i really do not have anything. i looked at myself and had to hang my head.
Shame on me.
for months i felt nothing. i was not numb, i just felt
nothing. i ignore the gentle tugging of the Holy Spirit because i thought that I’m
okay.
i am not.
i keep coming back to God because i want something from him. i did not come to him because i want to make him happy again or because i love
him, but because I needed something and i he alone has the power to give
it.
i have kept doing it to the point where i got so weary and
tired with my own foolishness. i was shameless.
but God is waiting for me. He has waited for me. He was so
KIND. It is His KINDNESS that has led me to repentance.
I am sorry. I was sorry.
it is not easy letting go and
letting Him take over. even with the knowledge that he only wants what is best
for me. but that is faith. something I have to learn.
God is good. this time its not
just a trite thing to say.. it’s truly experiential.
i'm not a food blogger. far from it. but i'd like to share photos about this food place that my sisters went into last week-end. the place is called surfin ribs. ruby has already been telling me about this place and that the food is good so i was a bit excited. when we got there the small diner was packed and we had to wait, we were number 5 in the waiting list! i would just usually convinced the others to go and find somewhere else to eat that we do not have to wait and stand but this place has promise so i keep my mouth shut plus i have already smelled something that whipped my appetite :-)
photo courtesy : google images
we order the baby back ribs since the name of the place imply that that is their specialty, spicy crabs and two orders of hot wings.
photo courtesy : google images
we were given an apron so we will not blame the resto if we ever spilled spicy sauces of our clothes :-). it was the first time ever that i have eaten with an apron wrapped in front of me. we have to dig in and use our hands but it was one of the most delicious and satisfying meal i've had in a while. thank you to sister (youngest) for showing us this place.
photo courtesy : google images
photo courtesy : google images
one of the things that i love about the place also is that it's very... regular. you can eat fast without any fork or spoon and nobody minds you. they also have the most interesting washing area. check out the photos below:
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