Tuesday, September 27, 2016

grace & truth

14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son[a] from the Father, full of grace andtruth. 15 (John bore witness about him, and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.’”) 16 For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.[b] 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

john 1:14-17

that verse.

i was able to relate to it because i hear some people say to me things like, "well you're so graceful to them and doesn't want to offend them by telling them the truth". this makes it seem as though grace and truth are two different things when, in fact, they are one and the same. you cannot separate truth from grace and grace from truth as they are both embodied in the person of Jesus Christ.

sometimes, we want to tell another person the "truth" and we want to do it in a way that would "touch" him or in a way that would really make him feel guilty and embarrassed because, we are the bearer of truth after all! there is also reasoning from us that says, "if we always coat the truth with nice and gooey words, how can he/she learn"?!

we forgot that it is not our job to "convict" that person. it is the Holy Spirit's job. 

this verse reminded me that grace & truth are married together. the only reason we want to "correct" or "tell" a person about his failings or weakness is because we want to pull him back and want him to grow in his relationship with Jesus. nothing more. we don't tell somebody about their mistakes just to satisfy our pride and our own ego and rub it in their face that we are in the right and they need to come up to where we are because they are in the wrong.

"we who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak" 
romans 15:1

you guys, i love doing journals & piping hot milk tea in the mornings!

Friday, September 23, 2016

september 23, 2016

in my distress i called to the Lord; i cried to my God for help. from his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears.

psalm 18:6

"if you don't see the need for  prayer, it maybe because you're living in self-sufficiency. prayer isn't for the competent or complacent. prayer is for the needy and dependent. the goof-up. the thirsty".

it is funny when i read this commentary about prayer because i do not feel self-sufficient consciously. but a quick evaluation proves me wrong. i do act like i am self-sufficient.

i have a house (even if it is a rental), i have enough clothes (sometimes they are more than enough) i have a good social life, my friends are amazing people, i have a church that i really love, a family that is consistent, a husband that adores me... etc.  so yes i do feel pretty self-sufficient even if i do not admit it.

and that is really scary. to be feeling okay and less needy for God.

the book of psalm has so many instances of prayer from people who are passionately in love with the Lord.

some words they use were:

i thirst for you
i long for you
i desire to be in your presence
i hunger for you

what about me? what words would i use for what i feel for God?

even if i say that loving God is not all about feelings it is impossible not to feel passionately about Him. no one can say he is in love and not feel anything at all.

when i have found my true love (husband dear), there has not been a day that goes by that my heart does not search and long for him. not an hour went by without my brain being so filled with thoughts of him.  i have written countless journals and letters expressing how my heart beats for him, how much i miss him so much that it hurts literally. i used to think that those were just metaphorical expressions but no! i have felt it!

so God, i would say that i am desperate for you. i want to be more desperate for you and what you can accomplish through my life and the life of my husband.

i want this little heart of mine to continually be broken by the things that breaks the heart of God.

may i continue to "abuse" prayer. pray & pray & pray.

all the faithfuls do. only the faithless don't.