Thursday, December 23, 2010

I love :D

Rainy Days
Misty Windows

Lonely Walks
David’s Psalms
Country Music
Bubbling Babies
Pistachio Ice creams
Window Seats
Moist Sand
Ice Tea
Hot Coffee
Tom and; Jerry
Freshly washed laundry
Dusks and dawns
Rubber shoes and Tees
Cool Weathers

White sheets
Comfy socks
Max Lucado
Happy endings
Chili Sauces
Quiet moments
Country sides
Sweet Corns

and him :D

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

To let Go Takes Love

To "let go" does no mean to stop caring, it means that I can't do it for someone else.
To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it is the realizatin tht I can't control another.
To "let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness. which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.
To "let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
To "let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To "let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their own destinies.
To "let go" is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search my own shortcomings and correct them.

To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what i dream i can be
To "let go" is not to regret the pas, but to grow and live for the future.
To "let go" is to fear less and love more.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Juliet's Letter

Dear Claire,

What and if are two words that are non threatening as words can be, but put them together side by side and they have the power to hold you for the rest of your life.

What if… what if … what if….

What if … I don’t know how your story ended but if what you feel then was true love then its never too late. If it was true then why wouldn’t it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart… I don’t know what love like Juliet feels like- a love to leave love ones for,  a love to cross oceans for but I d like to believe if I ever were to feel it that id have the courage to seize it.

And Claire if u didn’t I hope one day that u will…

Friday, November 19, 2010

Am I Stinking?

God is never late. He is never in a hurry. We are the one who is always in hurry because we do not know the ending of each of our story. Remember the story of Lazarus in John 11? Jesus already knew that his friend Lazarus was sick and was dying but he told his disciple that he will come to his friend in two days. He could have come earlier, he love Lazarus like a brother so why did he have to wait TWO PRECIOUS DAYS?  Lazarus was dead already when He came, he was embalmed and was covered in mummy clothes and most of all he was STINKING already! why did he have to wait? So that He could have the most glory, ofcourse!

If Lazarus was just sick - okay, thanks Jesus
If he was dying - Praise Jesus you came to heal him
But he was dead two stinking days - Jesus reap all the glory and all who saw what he did had faith in Him

God's timing is always perfect! His time is not like ours. Our 2 years of asking from Him must feel like its never going to happen anymore but GOD has never been late in meeting our needs.

Most of the time when we want something from God we start out in our prayers in a very passionate way.We claim all of his promises and our hearts are bursting with trust and faith. After a while, our prayers goes seemingly unanswered and we are starting to lose the intensity of our prayers.... then suddenly things seem to lighten up and it looks like our plea is being answered... everything is going our way and its almost there - then, BLAM! then something happened and it is exactly the opposite of what we've been praying for! and we think LIFE STINKS!

If that's the case, well, remember that Lazarus STUNK just before the miracle! If we think we are stinking now... we are ready for a miracle :D
There's nothing we can do to make the miracle come faster- nothing. We must pray, we must believe - but we don't push down the door if it's still lock.
Vision and purpose will fuel us to go on - if God gives us the miracle, he gives us the strength to contain it.

I don't know about you but i think at the moment Im really stinking :D

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

dressed chicken

I remember one time i was walking downtown with my 8 year old cousin and he saw this sign that says "Dressed Chicken for Sale".
He then asked me, "Ate Nat, what kind of dresses do the chicken wears?" and i really laugh out loud with that one. So i had to explain that dressed chickens are really chickens that are already cleaned and ready to cook; that their feathers and stuff were already taken out to make them ready for whatever people wants to do with them in the kitchen. And he was like, "really? why is it called dressed chicken then?"
 and I was like, Yeah, why? i mean if we follow the meaning of the word "dressed" it really means that somebody has put on the kind of clothes that is required for a certain occasion.... why not say "Undressed Chicken for Sale" or say "Un-plucked Chickens for Sale"... now that is more practical and understandable.  

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

~ A Foggy Blog ~

To write
to ponder
to wonder where I’ll be
when opportunities arise
to set my spirit free

Will you be there
to touch me
and share the emotions of my soul
will you be there
to kiss me
and be the man i adore?
will you be there
in the morning
when sunlight kisses flowers
will you be there
to embrace our love
and give meaning to our hours

My love is bubbling over
it’s more than I can bear
restraining it inside of me
is causing me despair
I want to share it freely
I want to give it all away
all the themes
in all my dreams
are focused on that day

This is what I’m thinking
as I sit here at my blog
letting thoughts escape me
like a ghostly misty fog
writing down whatever
letting feelings have their way
blogging in my cyberspace
on a cool rainy day

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold.
It's for those who are
willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with
the one they love.
It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't
... see it nearly enough..."

... this has a lot to do with this

Thursday, July 8, 2010


toad poles reminds me so much of childhood.... it came to me because its rainy season... and when we went visiting somewhere i saw a gutter sooo full of them... and the wide eyed mother (maybe, they look a like..umm) with its adams apple (what else would u call the pulse that keeps bloating in and out its throat?) and pimply skin look on....

i use to love catching them up in our kangkongan.. i get really really giggly doing that... like i was made to do that (u know catch toadpoles all my life).. thank /God i grew up.. i realize u don't catch them ... u wait for them to grow up and catch them - for exotic viand purposes... ugghhhh.. gross.. but i've tried eating them .. at least the kind of them that is edible... tasted good too.. just don't know if it will taste the same now - now that i think myself --- well, ummm ... civilized.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

tired and suffocating

i was just done with my message.. i have done it twice today.. i wonder why it kinda suck the life out from me... i felt so weak and tired.. my lids are so heavy and i could not fight the feeling .. i just want to close them.

i feel exhilarated every time i am doing this. I know this is one of the things that im supposed to be doing but no matter what i still have to come to terms with myself. i need to push myself away...she's the only one standing in the way of all the things that God needs to do in her life. no one else.

i know i am less commitment more in interest... that has to change... like i said i may still be a legend but .... i need to refocus and re align my life... i have to let Him do it... or else... all and i do mean all.... will be lost... and that would messed up all things and i would lose everything that i live for... my very essence and purpose... then i will be hanging in the air like everybody...

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


trust has to be earned. it is one of the basic practical reality when it comes to dealing with people and building relationships. You only start to trust someone if that someone has proven to you that they are worth it. When they have been there in the times that you needed them the most or they have done something to you and for you. That's when the merit of trust is given, sometimes subconsciously, to the person. They deserve it because they have shown themselves worthy of it, they have "worked" to gain that position in your life or your heart.

so, how do i justify trusting someone who has done nothing at all to gain my trust. Who did not at all work for it...? Who leaves everything to God or maybe it was really fate? Its very frustrating.... creates almost a big big hole at the pit of my tummy and huge lump in my chest... the fact that maybe I'm just expecting and anticipating too much....

Could i call that trust? or just plain old fashion longing ... the plain deep and gut wrenching kind.... to be with him.

This is the reason for all the unexplained tears, sober mood and wishful thinking....

Sunday, May 23, 2010

I'm Going Bananas

i think im going bananas...that's how you express it when you think your life is no going through the path that you liked or even planned. In other words your getting crazy...insane

But this banana here doesn't describe me at the moment (but i do have some going-bananas-thing). I was visiting some of our kids in one of our areas when i spotted this thing on the just hanging there and i just cant resist snappin' at it even though my phone's camera is just 2 mega pixels, i mean this is a high tech world were living in and some already got phone cams that reach to 10 mega pixels so its embarrassing to open my phone in public eye.... lol... but really i dont care... my phone can text and call and i can listen to 13 mp3 songs... who cares if its obsolete? i dont for sure.

going back to bananas, this pic made me walk down childhood memory lane... we used to have lots of them in our backyard and my grandfather would harvest it and we would all come running and pick the smallest fruit, hide it... cover it in plastic bags and salivate for a few days in anticipation for it. Its not that i really love bananas but there is a thing that i cannot describe that i feel every time i opened my carefully-wrapped portion and find it ripe and ready to eat. It is almost like a sense of success.... my anticipation has been rewarded and it felt soooooooo good...
Actually i think i am just imagining things with this anticipation vs surprise thing.... we will see what comes with it.....

but between me and me? i hope that its like my wrapped bananas.. i'd find it ripe and ready for the taking....

Friday, May 21, 2010

the beginning of ....

this here is the beginning of my life's unpredictable, and confusing existence.. oh in just some sense

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


If I'd've known the way that this would end
If I'd've read the last page first
If I'd've had the strength to walk away
If I'd've known how this would hurt

I would've loved you anyway
I'd do it all the same
Not a second I would change
Not a touch that I would trade
Had I known my heart would break
I'd've loved you anyway

It's bittersweet to look back now
At memories withered on the vine
Just to hold you close to me
For a moment in time

And, even if I'd seen it coming
You'd still've seen me running
Straight into your arms

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


Lord I pray that:

You'd make me love you so much ill do whatever you say...
You'd make me think about you all the time so there'll be no escape from serving you...
You'd make me so passionate for you that ill forget myself and give you my all...

If i don't have the self-motivation , then fill me with your Holy Spirit...

Please forgive me for all the heartaches I caused you - big or small...
If i have embarrassed you because of my thoughtless or even deliberate actions or words or thoughts, God, forgive me...

Please, oh please, give me the sense, the honor and the commitment to stand by my promised - to blessed you with the life that I am leading...

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Betrayal and Pain

there are times when nobody really understands you.... you take a a jump at a relationship and learn t give ur trust and then this someone turns their back... confirming your worst nightmare that most relationships are built on a quick sand.... so you vow "never again"

Being betrayed is soooo painful especially if you think highly of the person who betrayed you... its like you hanging in mid air and he comes and cuts off the only vine your holding.... the pain is so pure.......

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

My old town

A recent trip home has reminded me of the past
My old school with its unmanicured lawns and peeling paints
Brought back nostalgic memories
I do not know how to react

A diner we used to hang-out
… the signage has already one screw left
The side walk we trudged up and down during school days
… pavements are now missing
… puddles of rain has collected in the holes were the cement would have been

The plaza with its green grasses and newly painted bench
… with its stadium where we use to cheer our lungs out for our fave team
… with its outlined walks and glittering lights in the late afternoon
– the grasses are now brown; desperately thirsting for rain
– the stadium benches badly needs repair
– the walks dusty and only one yellow bulb hanging in every corner

The old movie house with its creaking chairs and musty-old-moss smell
They once echo the giggling and the sniffling of us…
Now it’s no more – it’s has been turned into a cell phone shop

The sweeping meadows, with stubborn wild grasses swaying in time with the wind
Hectares upon hectares of twisting sugarcane stalks ready to be harvested as far as the eyes can see
-- it’s now subdivided, lonely and dry

Rushing rivers that once has heard the screams and squeals of carefree children
Frantic voices of parents warning us to be careful
…it’s now carabao’s bath… dark and murky.

The wild guavas, tamarind and “kamunsil” plants we plundered
The string beans and peanuts still young enough to be picked
The heavenly sweetened “58” sugarcanes we coveted
-nothing is left, just grasses and hardened soil

The ponds we used to fish with cut off tree limbs and crushed snails for bait
– the ponds have dried and the snails are scattered and few

I could not forget the feel of pure mud on my toes
As we chase dragonflies in the rice fields
Nor the grainy sand on my feet as we picked “tino-tino”

The rest of the world has been modernized now
The cities are shinier
The cars are slicker and faster
The malls are bigger and crowdier
The parks are wider, merrier, more entertaining
The internet has made the world smaller (though still damn big) – more accessible
Movies are available in 3D’s (gasp*) unthinkable

My town has grown old though – wrinkled – aged
Almost everyone in it wants to get out of it
Those who are out want to stay out and have no desire of coming back in…
It’s almost a sin just to think these thoughts,
I mean not coming back?
But it seems to be that way now…

*photo grabbed from Google images* 

Thursday, February 25, 2010

It's easy (part 2)

this is the second cut. see the first

You may wake up one day
with a bruised heart that is heavy
you will realize that a hefty salary
cannot earn a peaceful and loving family
friends who will stand by you any day

you finally agonize
that you have maybe paid too big a prize
that you have probably jeopardize
the standard of your God who is wise

the things you own for a awhile
blessings, you think of them with a smile
are nothing but temporary and ordinary
compare to the rewards which are heavenly

he who loves you...
loves to hook an extra in front of the ordinary
to make us satisfied, content and happy

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

What I want

I want a carrer - not just a job
I want a home - not just a house

I need true friendship - not just mere acquaintances
I need genuine relationships - not just partners

I want a sense of being right - not just win an argument
I want to be respected - not just listened to

I want to worship - not just sing
I want to pray - not just mumble

Above all ....

I want to live - not just survived
I want to love - freely, deeply... passionately... wildly (?)
- the kind that I'd do if i know there'll be no tomorrow


I want to experience the best of God's world
- to eat , drink, and be merry
... yet tempered with the knowledge of the truth that
the world has nothing to offer when it comes to the serious of life
- like faith, hope and love ...

Monday, February 1, 2010

Confessions of Saint Augustine

There is beauty in lovely physical objects, as in gold and silver and all other such things. When the body touches such things, such significance attaches to the rapport of the object with the touch. Each of the other senses has its own appropriate mode of response to physical things. Temporal honour and the power of giving orders and of being in command have their own kind of dignity, though this is also the origin of the urge to self-assertion. Yet in the acquisition of all these sources of social status, one must not depart from you, Lord, nor deviate from your law, the life which we live in this world has its attractiveness because of certain measure in its beautiful. Human friendship is also a nest of love and gentleness because of the unity it brings about between many souls. Yet sin is committed for the sake of all these things and others of this kind when, in consequence of an immoderate urge towards those things which are at the bottom end of the scale of good, we abandon the higher and supreme goods, that is you, Lord God, and your truth and your law (Ps. 118:142). These inferior goods have their delights, but not comparable to my God who has made them all. It is in him that the just person takes delight; he is the joy of those who are true of heart (Ps. 63:11).