Saturday, August 29, 2009

I have a blasted Dream

I woke up with conflicting emotions. I was so perplexed by the dream I had last night. I could not reconcile it with reality (i know dreams are not exactly trustworthy mirror of the future). But if I dreamed about vampires, monsters and other unpleasant creatures I would have been happier. I am not a person to remember my dreams. More often I would woke up “dreamless”. But this morning its as if my 8 hours of sleep brought me no rest at all.I can still feel the lingering after effect of my dream. Have you ever had a dream where you want to wake up and change the plot or the story? Have you ever tried to give all the force you have to change the outcome of your dream so it would give you a pleasant feeling of “waking up on the right side of the bed in the morning?” I have tried.. with all my might… but i failed… In my dream i was in my high school football field. I was transported into the 90’s. The oval field has never look so wide, the sun has never shone so brightly, the three grand stands were filled with all my former classmates and schoolmates, and friends. The whole place has a festive feeling…. everybody was talking to somebody…everyone was excited to be there… everyone was in high spirits… cheering, laughing, shouting ….. just happy… I was there too… but in contrast to all the fun and excitement around me, my heart was swelling… almost bursting not with laughter but with tears. I am in BIG trouble … my future -even my life (gasp) hangs in a balance. All my intellectual and emotional capacity are fighting - clamoring to find a solution to a problem which has no solution, I felt so alone, depressed, hopeless. I was staring blankly to a group of guys who are kicking a soccer ball aimlessly (that’s what it looks to me)… then my eyes focus on someone who is not a part of my past, someone I now just met, Why is he here? I hastily wiped my eyes and forced a smile and gave a little wave all the while my mind was on overtime thinking why is he here?… Then he left the boys and the field, ran up to me… paused a few feet away and looked at me with compassion … like he knew exactly what i was thinking and feeling…. like he’s reading my thoughts … i felt exposed and naked… And then he slowly advanced to me….. almost floating on the ground, reach out and touched my hand … he said ” You are stronger than you thought, I will always be here” … two perfect teardrops rolled in my eyes.. they were about to fall when suddenly … the guy give a a smirk and an evil smile…. he look at me with piercing eyes…he said….. You are NAIVE!…..(Created: August 15, 2009)

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